Friday, July 11, 2008

29th Wedding Anniversary

There are so many things I want to write about, but I'm selecting the topic of marriage today since we just had our 29th wedding anniversary a few days ago. You know, we got married on Ringo Starr's birthday. Just thought I'd throw that in. It could be loosely relevant because well, I consider him the funny Beatle and he's the oldest Beatle and the least controversial. I think our marriage is all that. Oh and another thing. We got married on 7-7-79. darn it's really too bad we didn't get married two years earlier! I'm sure we would've been much luckier in Vegas over the past 29 years.

When someone asked me what the secret was to our long marriage, I replied "We're two very tolerant people." I was joking, but now when I think about it, isn't it the truth? What two people are so perfect that tolerance is never necessary at some point? Love is not enough, sorry to tell you. Acceptance, a sense of humor, and commitment are mandatory. This is why I sometimes question the institution of marriage. It's NOT natural, it's man-made. Like everything man-made, there are advantages and disadvantages. Take shoes, for instance: they protect your feet and keep them warm, but can cause bunions, foot odor, and often are hard to dance in.

Marriage enables a partnership which promotes better upbringing of children and it provides love, comfort and friendship; but it can also cause financial problems, high blood pressure, and some husbands don't take you dancing. *LOL*

In my case, my husband has the high blood pressure and takes me dancing. Seriously, however, marriage can be restrictive if not handled carefully. I may bemoan his being unromantic and point to a guy on TV proposing to his girl on a moonlit balcony in Paris, but at least he never tries to suppress my creativity or public expression of unconventional views (such as those found in blogs) and he tolerates my overanalyticalitis. Any man who would take his wife to see Smokey Robinson on three consecutive nights in Las Vegas is marriage-worthy in my book.

Lastly, I would like to stress the importance of complementing each other. Too often we are given the impression that for a marriage to be successful, you must be soulmates with a singular mind. One of my favorite funny quotes is Woody Allen's "I would never want to belong to a club that would have me as a member." Not sure if that's totally relevant but I love that quote. Sometimes when two people are alike it can be disastrous. Imagine two vain people in a bathroom with one mirror! Or two people who love to eat the turkey neck...or butt? Surefire ingredients to a rocky marital road!

Years ago I was criticizing someone's childrearing methods. Unfortunately, "Supernanny" wasn't around or she'd have proven me right. That person said "Well, you're lucky. Jordan's an easy child!" It never occurred to them that maaaaybe, just maybe, their child was difficult BECAUSE they were spoiling him and that Jordan was "easy" because I was studiously following John Rosemond's advice. So some may say "Well you're lucky you found each other, that's why your marriage lasted." Maaaaybe, just maybe it's not only about luck but also that we are simply two people who are smart enough to understand that married life can be great if you're committed, learn to accept, have a sense of humor, and go dancing once in a while.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! 29 years of marriage, that's fantastic! And what's amazing is that when you add that with my own wonderful marriage it would make a whopping combined 30 years!
    In my successful marriage I totally agree that it's not about luck. As CSI's Grissom believes,"There are no coincidences."
    I do also like that quote, but I hear it in my head in a Groucho Marx voice and sure enough the Internet has Woody Allen properly paraphrasing Groucho Marx to make the more quotable line (From "Annie Hall"). Cool.
    Keep up the good writing.
    The 'Smokey and the photo groupie' stuff was fun to read.


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